Terrifying Thoughts

The Manifestation of Fear

It is the day after the Ever Popular Commercialized Holiday of Valentine's Day and I came to a sudden realization about my life. On Valentine's Day we want to be able to say we have someone close in our life. The one thing is I don't have someone in my life at the moment; it really is not a big deal for me because I been in this place before. However, I had this bit of an epiphany about the emotion we call "love," and what it really means to me. Saying "I love you" is said very often by people who really have no idea what the emotion's manifestation. What it truly mean to love someone is meaning to truly open yourself up to another person. To make yourself just purely and emotionally naked! In other words, you are emotionally vulnerable and being so vulnerable leaves you open to magnitude of pain if the relationship goes awry. Honestly, that truly is the most terrifying thought ever! To show yourself bare to another person who is not related to you and has known you for a short period of time.

I am pretty used to being by myself, but sometimes I wish I can be in a relationship. To put yourself out there like that to share yourself with another person. Metaphorically it is as though you open chest up and say "Please invade my heart, but I ask that you be most careful in there because it is the most fragile part of my body and my soul." To reiterate, that is a very terrifying thought. That is fear manifesting itself as another emotion and you ask yourself "Should I risk it with this person." But Life is an adventure and sometimes we got to take the good with the bad. A broken heart can be healed over time, but that brings me to an interesting thought: I have a love/hate relationship with Time. I say this because Time can heal all wounds, but at some point Time makes fools of us all. Then it really upsets me is Time is cyclical which basically means: my wounds are healed and I get on with my life, meet someone, heart broken, and now I look like a damn fool, but overtime I will be okay again. Life is Pure Irony Sometimes. So suck it up and learn how to live with it because these roommates are terrible at times but have their beautiful moments.

 

Once again this is another bit of a thought as opposed to something that is worth reading. For that: I apologize to my readers and I promise my next post will be something worth knowing :) Love & Peace
Andrew Christopher Dieppa