The Story of My Mis-adventured Vampire Weekend
A friend of mine who's name I cannot reveal in this blog invited me to accompany her to a rock show on the 19th of March, Saturday. Now not having been to a rock show was thoroughly intrigued to come to this particular show because it was a Genitorturers show. When I was way younger and full of hope and dreams I was heavily into the heavy metal genre of music. I remember reading an article from Hit Parader about the band and how they have these provocative shows. Before I get into that I am going to rewind back to 9am in the morning on March 19th.
I get a phone call from my masseuse who I schedule an appointment with for a massage. Once I get to my masseuse's place I am blown away by the amount of well known figures that have been his clients one of them including Game Designer David J. Sushil. Jorge the Masseuse gave me a magnificent treatment of deep tissue, hot towels, and paraffin treatment. I walked out of there feeling a Phoenix rising up from the ashes that were my stress and despair. Thank you Jorge for a great treatment!
In the afternoon I go to a BBQ hosted by my friend and local artist Benjamin Sawinski. I hung out eating bratwurst and burgers while kicking a hackey sack around. I felt like I was in 1992 all over again! My best friend Dillon was there to explain to me that I just committed a sin; I had broken one of my Lent promises! I was supposed to be fasting for the entirety of Lent; I have failed. I will be punished for this treachery to my own beliefs.
Flash forward, I sent a text to my friend (a fake name will be in place of her real name) Lane Senna Elm, asking her how long she is going to be for you see I wanted to catch a nap before this rock show. Bzzt! Bzzt! Loud rings go off, and I answer my phone "Hello Lane?" From the receiver of the phone came "Andrew, I got off the wrong exit to get gas and I am really low right now! I am just really scared to get back on I-4 because I think my car will just run out of gas!" I explain to Lane to calm down, that I will go out and purchase a gas tank to fill up, bring it to her, and escort her to a gas station.
Now I am at a Wal-mart my most hated place in the world. I never thought one of my worst enemies in the world would take the form of a super store with low prices and convenient locations nationwide. After dealing with the lousy customer services of this store, I was able to find one of those gas jugs to fill with gas. Let me stop this fictional story for a moment and ask my readers a question: How does someone not know what a gas jug is? I am sure it is pretty obvious the name is describing without me going into detail of its main functionality. It's a jug you fill up with gas for emergencies such as the one Lane gotten herself into (Resuming the story in 5...4...3...2...1). As soon as I get to the cash register, swiped my debit card, enter my pin code (which is 0000), and asked for cash back I walked out of the store with the intention of rescuing Ms. Senna Elm from her distressful situation. All of a sudden Bzzt! Bzzt! "Hello Lane, I got the jug and I'm going to fill it up then head over your way," I said. Lane's response was that she found her way to a gas station and is heading her way to friend's house now. Needless to say I hang up the phone and spontaneously combusted.
I picked up Lane Senna Elm from her friend's house and we promptly went to the Firestone venue to watch her favorite band perform. This is where is gets interested. Let me describe the genre of music the Genitorturers play industrial rock, so imagine the appearances of their fans look like. A lot of black, gothed out, piercings, and tattoos. I am wearing a bright red Old Navy shirt, dark blue jeans, and my orange Puma shoes. Not exactly following the crowd at this point, but I was not scared; I was terrified. No, really I was fine I used to hang around these people in my youth.
The lights go down and these two people come out on stage each holding their instruments of rock (bass and six-string guitar). Hansel und Gretyl an industrial rock band from Deutsch Land. They honestly rocked the house, and I enjoyed their performance. At some point of the night I had the chance to meet which I got to wear Hansel's awesome German eagle helmet. Conversing with Hansel und Gretyl I explained to them I never heard them nor heard of them, but I thoroughly enjoyed their show and I asked for a hug from. Upside to this story is I got to hug two crazy Germans ::crosses off something on his bucket list::
During the intermission my friend Lane needed to grab a drink as I stood there looking around the Firestone venue admiring the scene of black clothing audience and how pale they are. Out of the distance I heard some yelling. The voice was so familiar that I ended up shaking my head and slapped my face into my palm because I knew what was happening; Lane was getting into an altercation. Apparently this person kept hitting on Lane asking her if they could buy her a drink. Lane got so frustrated with this person that she yelled at the top of her lungs that struck the venue almost near silent. I ran over to the bar to see if I can mediate the situation before it gets out of hand. Finding Lane I asked her what is wrong, she pointed and filled me in on the situation. I turned and asked Lane where is the guy, but Lane said it was this woman who was making a pass at her. My eyebrow raised I explained to the woman to please leave Lane alone because she is currently not looking, but asked her what she would have done with Lane Senna Elm. I learned something that night I cannot take a punch, and Lane really knows how to throw a punch.
The intermission was over and crowd was gathering back to the stage to watch the headliner Genitorturers begin their awaited performance. As Lane walked back to get a good spot, and I followed behind her with a bag of ice on my injured eye we waited for the performers to come to the stage. Once again the lights go dim, three musicians walk on stage with their instruments in hand. To explain what happens Genitorturers is pretty easy to describe. Do I want to describe I saw: No. Does anyone here want to read what I saw: Most likely no. Therefore I am going to describe it in a few words with one event that took place. Genitorturers description: loud rock, female lead singer, S&M apparel, rubber phalli thrown, floggin, bondage, and on stage sodomy. At a certain point Gen from Genitorturers likes to get a volunteer from the audience to join on a performance. This particular gentlemen was put up on stage in his undergarments on all fours, and then he was somodomized with a wine bottle -- a full bottle of wine. The crowd around was bouncing up and down "rocking" out watching this as I sipped my water with a twist of lemon said to myself "Huh, did I leave the oven on?" Really I said "Huh, this is something I do not see in my average life," and then I proceeded to cross another thing off my bucket list.
After the Genitorturers finished their set we got the chance to meet the band and the front woman Gen. Lane was super excited, she has met her before, but she just idolizes her I guess. I got two good shots of her and Gen. Then I had my little talk with Gen and explained to her I never heard her music before. However, I have read about her performances and the show she puts on and she did not dissatisfied. She thanked me, and then I told her she was no Disney's Imagination Movers, but I still enjoyed the show. Once again I learned the a similar lesson from the earlier lesson; I cannot take a punch, and Gen can really throw a punch. Now, with two black eyes I then took Lane Senna Elm to her friend's house to get some sleep.
The Next Day
I been looking forward to this other event since Sunday one of my good friend's brother entered a film festival which was called a "Film Slam." Alex Sushil who is the younger and better looking brother of my friend/mentor David J. Sushil made a short film called Vestiges. I have been to these types of film festivals and I have been disappointed with what they show in terms of "art house" films, but this one had a lot of good short films with unique narratives. Of course Alex's film was the best one of out of the bunch in my opinion (and no I am not being biased you terrible reader). At the Film Slam I had the chance to meet Clan Sushil Representatives included David's mother, grandmother and father. This was such a surreal moment for me. I talked to David's mother and she asked me how I felt about her son. I explained to David's mother that it has always been an honor to know David because every time I talk to him on the phone, online, or whatever I always walk away a better person. I also explained to her that I haven't gotten the chance to really get to know Alex, but I know he is a sweetheart and obviously has an eye for film. Then I got a group hug from Sushil's mother, grandmother, and father. I know I am huge hugger; just love to hug people.
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